Proven Techniques to Elevate Your Cognitive Soft Skills

In this solo episode of Soft Skills: Strong Results, I'm diving into the often-overlooked world of cognitive soft skills and explaining why mastering your inner game is essential for lasting success. As you dive into this content, you’ll learn how internal skills like beliefs, confidence, creativity, curiosity, and decision-making directly shape performance, leadership effectiveness, and personal growth.

I also break down how beliefs act as mental filters that influence how you interpret people, challenges, and opportunities. I'm sharing practical strategies for identifying limiting beliefs and intentionally replacing them with empowering beliefs that support clearer thinking and better results.

The episode also explores how confidence is built from within through intentional thought patterns and consistent action. I explain how small daily “confidence wins,” creative thinking shifts, and curiosity-driven questions can help you break out of autopilot and approach challenges with greater self-trust and flexibility.

Finally, I'll walk you through improving decision-making by slowing down, setting deadlines, and considering long-term impact. By strengthening these cognitive soft skills, you will gain tools to manage your thoughts more effectively, unlock untapped potential, and create stronger outcomes in both work and life.

Key Takeaways

• Cognitive soft skills shape how you think, act, and achieve results
• Beliefs function as mental filters that influence perception and behavior
• Confidence grows from intentional thinking and consistent action
• Creativity is a learnable skill rooted in perspective and experimentation
• Curiosity leads to deeper understanding and better conversations
• Strong decision-making comes from clarity, reflection, and purposeful action

Pick up my book The Power Skills Portfolio: A Leader's Guide to Soft Skills

I'm here to help you master your soft skills and take your communication to the next level! Learn more at CharlieKrebs.com

Transcript

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Welcome to Soft Skills Strong Results. I'm your host, Charlie Krebs. You're about to learn practical strategies to master interpersonal communication. So let's get started. Good day, and welcome to Soft Skills Strong Results. This is Season 2, Episode 2, and I'm your host, Charlie Krebs. Today's episode is on way to improve your cognitive soft skills. Now, the difference between interpersonal soft skills is that interpersonal are between people, and cognitive soft skills is what I use to refer to things that we do on our own. For example, patience and confidence. You don't need another person to work on those soft skills. Now, they're just as important, but they're an entirely different beast. So the first one of the cognitive soft skills I want to talk about are beliefs. They're not just ideas that you hold in your mind, they actually shape how you interpret events. They're sort of like the lens that you use. If you have a belief that people are good and righteous, you're going to notice that in people. It's like when you get a new car. You notice all of those other cars on the road that you might not have noticed before. So one of the things that you can do is create a short list of your beliefs that fuel your best leadership. And moments before you go into a meeting, read them. And then you're going to execute that meeting based on the beliefs that you have. Maybe you want to identify a belief that you feel that holds you back. Then deliberately write a new belief that is a better version of that and encourages your growth. The next cognitive soft skill is confidence. Confidence is not something that the gods distribute to you. Confidence is based on the way that you think. Do you think thoughts that nurture your confidence, or do you think thoughts that sabotage your confidence? So list some personal qualities that you feel make you a good leader. And then describe how those qualities help bring out the best in other people. Also, end your day with a confidence win. Something that you did during the day that demonstrated strong leadership. The next one is creativity. I talk to a lot of people and they go, but I'm just not creative. And I always contradict them and I say, maybe you're not artistic, but everyone is creative. If you've ever had a thought and then brought that thought to fruition, you are creative. One of the things that you can do to be creative is change things up. Maybe sit in a different place. Maybe sit in a the chair instead of at your desk. Maybe sit with different people at lunch. So change things up. Maybe listen to a different genre of music. Just changing things up is going to get out of the autopilot part of your brain. Another thing you can do is talk to a non-expert about whatever it is you're trying to figure out. And because that person is not an expert, they're going to give you some perspectives that you might not have thought about. The next soft skill is curiosity. When you sense that there's more to the story than what is first apparent. So when you catch yourself labeling something as wrong or odd, what if you stop for a second and thought, how might other people be looking at this? And then you can look at it in a way that's not the usual way that you look at it. When you're asked about a problem, pause your instinct to advise and maybe say to the other person, what part of this are you most uncertain about? So it's not about you giving advice, it's about helping them understand the situation and you're using curiosity to do that. Decision making. We all make thousands of decisions. And sometimes we move through that decision-making process in a hurry and we don't think about it carefully enough. So, what about choose a decision that you've been avoiding and write it down and then give yourself 24 hours to act on it. Sometimes we just get in the habit of procrastinating. Before jumping into the pros and cons of something, list what matters most, not to you, but to the people that are going to be affected by it, and maybe let that help you guide your decision. Another thing you could do is ask a future question. You can ask, how is this going to matter a month from now? And that may give you some good perspective. Another soft skill is discipline. It's a way to keep moving based on what matters most, not on what's urgent, because we all have a lot of things that are pulling us in different directions. And if we use discipline, we can stay focused on what's more important. So maybe identify what's the biggest daily distraction that you have and then come up with one simple rule to fix it. You know, instead of being distracted every time your computer beeps, maybe let it beep or turn the notification sound off and stay focused because it takes us 23 minutes to get back on track every time we let a distraction disrupt us. So imagine going through a day, and by the time that 23 minutes is up, you've been distracted again. And then that 23 minutes distracted again. So you basically go through the day being guided by all of your distractions. End each day by coming up with a focus that you want for tomorrow. That way, your tomorrow is guided by what matters most to you, not just by what's urgent. Enthusiasm is a great personal soft skill. It's about showing your investment in the work. And people can tell when you're enthusiastic about something. When you see somebody that's enthusiastic, you can tell in a second. You can tell the way their eyes light up, you can tell by their body language. And so when you show enthusiasm for other people, they're going to light up in the same way. Before each meeting as a way of showing your enthusiasm, write down what you're most excited about to accomplish in this meeting. And then with your staff, every time you notice a small win, call it out because celebrating helps other people feel encouraged as well. And it also helps them encourage others. Expectations. It's the internal message you send yourself about what the next moment will bring. Expectations are sort of like beliefs. You go to the doctor, she writes you a prescription, you take that prescription to the pharmacy, and they fill it. So expectations tend to come through. Our subconscious is like the pharmacy. So if you have an expectation, you're likely going to bring it about. So think about this: you're the doctor. Write better prescriptions. So, in other words, have better expectations. Decide what value that you want to add to a meeting so that in the meeting, you can actually start to produce that. Maybe with your team, look at a recent success and ask them what expectation did we have that allowed us to be successful? That way you can understand how strong standards create stronger outcomes. Humility. This is a good one because so many, so many people are all about me, me, me, me, me. And when you see somebody that's humble and put somebody else first, you know, like you're watching the Olympics and a runner falls down and the runner next to them stops and helps them out. And you know that by stopping and helping somebody else out, they lost the race. But that just shows that they're willing to put somebody else first. So humility is the idea of not always putting yourself first. Discover something new. When you go to a meeting, try to discover something new instead of just sounding smart. Another thing that you can do is give somebody else credit. Even if the two of you worked on a project together, give them credit for it. Think of how much that's going to mean to them. And lastly, at the end of your day, write down something that you learn from somebody else. It will remind you how much wisdom is around you all the time. Initiative. This is the habit of starting something before somebody else forces you to start it. So look at your calendar and start something ahead of schedule and think of how that's going to make you feel. And the next day, add a little bit more to it so that initiative builds momentum. Identify a risk that you've been avoiding and write down one small action that you can take to accomplish it. And that's a way to make initiative work for you. Integrity. I like when people define integrity as doing the right thing when nobody's watching. So write down your top five leadership values. Explain why they're important to you and how they guide your leadership. Because so many people think about their own power as a leader, but think about the impact that you can have on other people. Also, ask colleagues what they think you're known for, so that you can see the gap between what they think and what you think about what you're known for. Learning agility is a fun one. Learning agility is the ability to adapt while a situation is still unfolding. So maybe try one idea that somebody else had. Even if you're unsure about it, try an idea that somebody had. It'll help you learn to get out of your comfort zone. Also, pick a long-standing process that you've always had and ask if it still works. Maybe you think it works, but maybe it doesn't. So take a look at it and see what happens. Open-mindedness. It's the willingness to rethink your position when new information comes in. So maybe at a meeting, let your team debate a topic instead of you jumping in to fix it. And then they're going to work through their differences together. Also, maybe choose a decision that you're confident about, but then invite two alternative viewpoints before finalizing it. It's going to mean that you're open-minded and it's going to convey that message to other people. Patience. I am not a patient person. But as the older that I get, the more patient that I become. And patience sends a signal to other people that they can relax. So maybe if you need to send a corrective message, maybe wait till tomorrow to send it. Because if you wait till tomorrow, you're going to be thinking more clearly with a cooler head. Pick a meeting that you're in this week and be the last person to speak instead of the first person to speak. And your patience is going to encourage other people to think what they want to contribute as well. Because if they're always looking to you, thinking, all right, well, he's going to say something, that shuts off their ability. It's sort of in brainstorming. If somebody goes, yeah, but it just shuts people down. Whereas if you if you encourage them, they're going to start bringing bigger and better ideas. Positive thinking. There's a lot of talk about positive thinking, and I don't mean the kind of positive thinking that's like, be positive, because we we can we can see right through that. But the idea about positive thinking is thinking in terms of possibilities rather than thinking about problems. Think additively rather than subtractively. So at the top of your to-do list, write one thing you're looking forward to today so that your day starts with energy, not just with tasks. And maybe at a meeting, ask your team what's going better than expected. That way you're focused more on wins than on challenge. Presence. Presence really has to do with being right here right now, not in your head, not thinking about the past, not thinking about the future. One of the things that you can do to show presence with other people is make good eye contact. Actually make eye contact with them and be right here right now with them, listening to them, because that sends a message that you value them. Another thing that you can do is block five minutes between meetings. A lot of times we'll run from this meeting to the next meeting and we go into the second meeting with the leftover energy from the first meeting. But if you block off five minutes and just go somewhere alone for five minutes, then you're going to start the second meeting presence, much more present than you would have if you had just gone to it quickly. Problem solving. Pause before jumping into something new and ask some questions. Look at the bigger picture and explore possibilities. Maybe flip the scenario and say, if this were already solved, what would it look like? Maybe invite a junior staff member to reframe the issue in their own words. And it's going to give you some perspective that you never thought about. And it's going to help you solve the problem because you're probably always going to be solving problems in the same way. So invite other people to help you solve problems. Resilience. It's your ability to keep going even if things go awry. So when something goes wrong, allow yourself to feel disappointed. Name what hurts and breathe through it, but then move on. And you can ask, what still matters? Yes, this went wrong, but what still matters? And that's shifting your reaction to renewal. You can also say, you know what, this happened, but I'm not going to let it define me. Give yourself a time limit to think about it, even give yourself a time limit to overthink about it. And it will remind you that you are bigger than the moment. Self-awareness, your ability to know what's going on inside of you. Maybe write down what energizes you and what drains you, and let those help you make small adjustments tomorrow. Also, watch the room when you speak. Notice people's faces, notice their reaction, and that's going to help you be more aware of yourself. Self-efficacy. It's that quiet voice that believes that you can work your way through problems. So maybe find one thing that you've been avoiding for no good reason and notice and do it. And then notice how quickly your confidence starts to arise, starts to go up because you got some momentum going. When you hesitate on something, ask yourself, what would the confident version of me do in this situation? And then take that small step, even if you're not fully ready. Self-esteem. This is your sense of worth. List five traits you respect in yourself as a leader and remind yourself that you're already working toward them. So you're focusing on that and not chasing what's missing. Self-motivation. Deciding to do something before someone tells you to do it. So maybe choose one task to complete every morning before you pick up your phone while your head is still clear. Another thing, reach a weekly goal that you don't tell anybody about. So there's no pressure if anybody knows. You're, you know, and you're reaching that goal yourself. Self-talk. We all have a recording going on in our heads. Most of us overthink things. So start to listen to yourselves talk. Start to write it down, and then maybe write new self-talk. And you can't just, for example, say, I'm so confident, because you might might not be confident, but new self-talk might say, I enjoy being confident. Doesn't mean you're confident all the time, but when I am, I enjoy it. Stress management. Notice what pressure does to you. Maybe turn off your notifications for an hour, give your brain a break, or go for a walk all by yourself and let your thoughts catch up to you. Give yourself permission to loosen your grip on something. Another one, time management, making decisions about what gets your focus. Start by asking yourself, what would make today meaningful? And then give that your best energy throughout the day. Figure out what hour of the day you are most productive and use that hour of the day to do your most important work. Block it out for your priorities. And finally, vision setting. When you know where you're headed, that becomes a filter for your decision. So what if you sat down and wrote one clear, powerful sentence naming the future that you're trying to build? It might take a little while, but if you can put it down into one sentence, the future that you want to build, then everything in your life can work toward that. Then ask your team what would happen if we succeeded wildly. And then you're letting people imagine and see what that vision is, and then they could work toward it. All right, that's all for today. Thank you for joining us for this episode of Soft Skills Strong Results. I'm your host, Charlie Krebs. Please remember, soft skills are the human side of success. Thank you for listening today. Be sure to check out other episodes in the catalog and join me at CharlieKrebs.com to find out how I can help you strengthen your interpersonal communication skills. You can find the link in the show notes.