How to Make People Feel Valued Through Soft Skills

In this episode of Soft Skills: Strong Results, I explore why feeling valued is one of the most powerful drivers of engagement, motivation, and job satisfaction—often outweighing compensation alone. I break down how intentional soft skills can transform workplace culture and personal relationships without costing a single dollar.

You’re about to discover practical strategies for recognition and appreciation that go far beyond a simple “thank you.” I share real-world examples of how handwritten notes, specific praise, and acknowledging growth help people feel seen, respected, and genuinely valued.

This episode also dives into the importance of listening, presence, and trust as core interpersonal soft skills. I explain how giving full attention, empowering others to lead, and showing curiosity about their ideas strengthens connection, confidence, and collaboration.

Finally, I highlight empathy, inclusion, and belonging as essential elements of strong leadership and healthy teams. By consistently practicing these skills, you’ll learn how to create environments where people feel safe, appreciated, and motivated to contribute their best.

Key Takeaways

•  Feeling valued is a critical factor in engagement, morale, and performance 
•  Specific, personal recognition has more impact than generic praise 
•  Active listening and presence communicate respect and importance 
•  Trust and empowerment show others you value their abilities and potential 
•  Curiosity and empathy strengthen connection and psychological safety 
•  Small, consistent soft-skill actions can transform relationships and culture

Pick up my book The Power Skills Portfolio: A Leader's Guide to Soft Skills

I'm here to help you master your soft skills and take your communication to the next level! Learn more at CharlieKrebs.com

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:03

Welcome to Soft Skills Strong Results. I'm your host, Charlie Krebs. You're about to learn practical strategies to master interpersonal communication. So let's get started. Good day. Welcome to Soft Skills Strong Results. Practical strategies to master interpersonal communication. This is season two, episode three, and I'm Charlie Krebs, your host. Today's episode is on how to use soft skills to show that you value other people. I would say that most people want to feel valued more than they want anything else, sometimes even more than they want a paycheck. I know people that make good pay, but they don't feel valued, and so they don't have a lot of job satisfaction. So I'm here today to give you a bunch of ideas about simple, no-cost things that you can do to show other people that they matter. I've broken it up into various sections. And this first section is on recognition and appreciation. Recognition is how you show people that they are seen. And when you make it specific and personal, it becomes most one of the most powerful ways you can let people know that they're valued. Something you can do is catch them off guard in a kind way. Maybe leave a post-it note on their desk about some specific thing that they did and why it mattered. You could also echo good ideas. If somebody shares a really good idea, maybe you can repeat that idea at a meeting that that person isn't at. And then they will hear that you recognize their idea secondhand, and that will make them feel very valued. One of the things you can do is name their superpower identity. And by identity, I mean their unique contribution. Like let's say you say somebody is the starter or the connector or the innovator or the encourager or the thinker that helps them feel that that's their identity. One of the things you can do is handwrite a short note telling people that you value them. You might celebrate something that most people might not notice. And I say handwrite because it's so easy to send an email. But if you write it by hand, it takes more time. So it sends a stronger message. I still have handwritten notes that people wrote to me sometimes years ago. Another thing you can do is celebrate recoveries. Praise their bounce back. It's not always about just praising results, but praise when things come back from the bad place. It makes people feel like they're valued for their resilience, not just their results. Maybe record a 20-second voicemail message for somebody highlighting something that they did that went particularly well. Hearing your voice is going to make it sound more personal. Reverse reference. And what I mean by this is write a surprise LinkedIn recommendation for somebody. You can do it if they ask you, but do it by surprise. They won't see it coming. And think of how it's going to send a message that you value them. You spent your time going out of your way to help them. Maybe create what I call a spotlight folder. Ask your staff to send you emails that they get from maybe their clients or people they work with where the other person praised them and keep them in a file. And every once in a while, read one of them at a meeting. They won't see it coming and think about how it's going to make them feel. Celebrate the mentor. You can ask somebody, who taught you that? And when they tell you, you can praise the teacher. It honors the impact that people can make. Celebrate somebody's growth. Focus on who they're becoming, not just what they do. So as you're their leader, you can also be their mentor, and you can work on helping them grow and helping them develop. That way they're seen as a developing human, not just an employee. Section two is about listening and presence. Listening tells people they matter because you're paying attention to them. One thing you can do is use their name. Our name is the most personal thing we have, and you can use their name. Most people think that they're bad at remembering names. And because they think that they're bad at remembering names, they become bad at remembering names. Now you don't have to say, I'm so good at remembering names, but you can use that idea about enjoy. You can say, I enjoy remembering people's names. And therefore you're setting yourself up to be someone who remembers names better. Eye contact is so important. Look at people when they're speaking to you. That sends an enormous message. Your full attention communicates more than anything else could. Ask follow-up questions. So it means you've got to be listening to them instead of thinking about what am I going to say next, actually listen to them, and it may prompt your imagination to come up with a question that you have, and that tells them that you're paying attention and it tells them that you care enough to pay attention. Let people finish. So often when people are talking, we know where they're going and so we interrupt them. We know what they're going to say, so we interrupt them. Even if you know what they're going to say, let them finish because that says that you value them. Even if you know what they're going to say, let them finish anyway. What you can do is you can repeat back what you heard somebody say. You can say, now, now what I'm hearing you say is, and they can say, Yeah, that's right. That's how I, that's what I feel. Or they can say, that's not exactly right. And then they can correct you so that you really do understand what it is that they're trying to say. Invite quieter voices. Not everyone is going to be is going to speak up. Not everyone is an extrovert. And we don't want to send the message that we only value extroverts. So what you can do is you can invite people that might be more quiet and invite their opinions, especially if there are other people dominating the meeting. Because some people like power and they love dominating meetings, and so they do it. But what you can say is, wait, tell us what you think. You haven't said anything yet today, and I know you've got an opinion on this. So that says that you value that person. Give somebody your undivided attention. Put down your phone. Because when you're when you're talking to somebody and you're checking out your phone, what you're basically saying is anything on my phone is more important than you are. And they're not. And you probably don't believe that, but it sends that message. And you want to send the message that you value somebody. So give them their give them your undivided attention. Also, ask about somebody else's perspective before you contribute your own. What's your take on this before I share mine? Because what you say is your take on it is probably going to influence what they say. But if you let them go first, they have no choice but to say what they really think. Give someone space to think out loud. I know sometimes when I'm having a conversation with somebody, you know, I'll ask them a question and then I'll start saying what I think. And it goes on. And basically what I'm doing is thinking out loud. Give other people the ability to just think out loud. And that will tell them that you value them and that you're not rushing them to refine. It shows that their ideas don't have to be polished to be welcome. And that means that you value their ideas, whether they're perfect yet or not. Also, give them the last word. I'm especially bad at this. I want to have something significant to say. But what you can really do is when somebody says something, keep your mouth shut. Let the last word be theirs. Now, yes, there are going to be times when you have something definitive to say. It's going to add to the conversation and sum everything up. But a lot of times, let somebody else have the last word. It says that they matter and that you value them. The third section is on trust and empowerment. Trust says that you value somebody's capability and that you value what they might grow into. So you can help them grow into something more than they currently are. You can reverse roles. So often we go to meetings where one person runs the meeting and they talk and they talk and they talk. Maybe have somebody else on your team run parts of the agenda. Maybe let them know, you certainly let them know ahead of time that you're going to have them run that part of the agenda so they can be prepared. But then it's not always about you. You're letting them step into leadership roles, and that says that you value them. Sometimes you can say, I trust your judgment. Not everything has to go through you. And if you trust somebody's judgment, maybe it doesn't come out exactly the way that you would have done it. But does that always matter? Now, if it's a critical decision that you need to make, then yes, it matters. But not everything has to go through you. Support their ideas before they're fully formed. You might want to say, you know what? There's something strong here. I'd like you to keep working on that. Another thing, we all do a lot of brainstorming. Let other people brainstorm ahead of you. Because if you if they're brainstorming and you jump in, you're saying that what they have to say doesn't matter. One of the things you want to avoid in brainstorming, just like in improv, you want to avoid the word but. The minute you say but, you sort of shut everything down. So when you're brainstorming, let somebody else speak before you do. Also, give people the benefit of the doubt. All right. Maybe they did something wrong, but they probably didn't do it maliciously. So cut them a little bit of slack. It shows that you trust their character. Because we don't all, including myself, we all don't make perfect choices every single time. Also, ask people what support can I give you so that you can follow up on this? It demonstrates respect for their autonomy. The next section here is called Curiosity and Learning. Curiosity says your mind matters, and I know I want to know what you think. So what you can do is let them teach you. This is called reverse mentoring. Ask a junior employee if they can give you a little tutorial on something. And maybe they do it better than you. I mean, I'm older and I don't do a lot of technology really well. So I'm always asking younger people, show me how to do that. And maybe I have to ask them to do it again. And if I say, you know, you do this every day, you understand it better than I do, they're going to give you some slack when it comes to that. Ask for advice on big decisions. When you're making a big decision, you don't have to carry all the weight yourself. Ask other people what they think about it. And their opinion, they're going to give you an opinion that comes from a very different perspective than yours. And that perspective might help you have better judgment and insight. Also, ask about somebody else's learning goals. What do you want to learn? Where do you want to be in five years? So everything isn't built around them doing a good job for you. You're also interested in who they are as a person, not just as an employee. And then also invite them to share the thinking behind their work. Where did you come up with that idea? How did you discover that? Because then you're saying you value where they came from. And let someone choose how they present. You might have ideas about how they should present something, but let them use their style. Maybe let them decide what the PowerPoint wants to look like. Maybe let them figure out how they want to approach everything and format it. This next section is about encouragement and growth. Encouragement shines a light on other people's progress. And maybe you're helping them see a stronger version of themselves that they wouldn't have seen without your encouragement. So you can reflect back their strength. You really calmed the whole room down when you stepped in there and said that, or you really brought that client around by how you stayed calm in that situation. You can notice how somebody's improving. You know, your writing gets better every week that I notice that. Compliment somebody's curiosity. I love how you keep asking the best questions. That way you're saying you appreciate their mindset, not just their skills. Also, you can acknowledge emotional labor. That took real courage on your part, because emotional labor can often get overlooked. And then acknowledge how they make the team better. So it's not just their output or their statistics, but what do they do that makes the team function better as a team? Maybe they encourage other people. Maybe they have each other's back. The next section is called empathy and humanity. Empathy shows that you see the other person as a human being. And that creates safety for them. That creates connection, and that creates loyalty. One of the things that you can do is remember milestones, their birthdays, their surgeries, their life events. Personal details matter. And if you notice them, it means that you care about them enough and that you value that person. All of this is about the messages. Everything we do sends a message. And we want to make sure that as many ways as in as many ways as possible, we're sending the message that we value other people. Maybe after a particularly stressful day, you go up to somebody and you say, Boy, that was a big day. How are you doing with all of that? And that lets them know that you care. Sometimes you can say to somebody, you know what? I know this is a huge project. Take your time. You don't have to rush through this. So you're validating their process. You can also offer encouragement before criticism so that they don't have to be afraid of you. You can encourage what they're doing. And then you can also tell them what it is that you'd like them to improve. But maybe phrase it as how about if you tried this next time, instead of deliberately telling them what to do. When somebody takes a risk, encourage that risk taking. It reinforces their belief in themselves because if they were willing to take a risk, they might be a little uncertain. And if you can reassure them that that risk was worth it, it'll mean a lot to them. Spot when somebody picks up Slack. You can say to somebody, you know what? When your coworker was out, you really picked up the ball and ran with that. And that tells them that you notice because it's so easy for things that people do to get unnoticed. The next section is called connection and presence. It's the acknowledgement of who someone is, not just what they do. What if you ask somebody, what are you proud of this week? It invites self-recognition. And a lot of times we don't recognize ourselves. And it says that their wins are important enough to discuss. Share a story about their positive impact. Maybe a client called you up and said, you know, what John did made such a difference. And I just want to let you know that he deserves some recognition. Most people call when they have something to complain about, but think of the difference that it makes when you tell somebody that you made a difference. You can compliment their warmth. You can compliment their generosity. It tells them that you're not taking them for granted. This next section is called inclusion and team culture. Inclusion is what says there's room for you here, and you are welcomed. What you can do is you can design a recognition loop. In meetings, have everybody say one thing that a peer did to contribute to success. And what they'll do is they'll hear unsolicited and unexpected praise. Think about how that's going to make them feel valued. You can thank people for their patience. You can thank people for bringing the room together because sometimes that's a quality that some people really bring to a team. They're a way, they're ways of bringing people together. Share credit generously. Public name people who contributed what? I mean, it's easy for people to think that you did it, but go out of your way to let other people know that somebody else was responsible. And by doing it publicly, you're really making a statement that you value somebody. Invite people into decisions that affect them. So while you're asking other people's opinions, maybe go to the people who's go who are going to be most impacted by this decision and ask them and say, you know what, this decision is really going to impact you. So I'd like to hear what you think. And it gives their voice credence, and that tells them that you value them. Celebrate milestones, not just outcomes. You know, you can say to somebody, all right, we're halfway there. So look at where we've come. We've come a long way. We can use the momentum we've built so far to take us through to the finish line. Acknowledge cultural or personal differences. People come from different backgrounds, but they bring different experiences, and those ideas can enrich your team. You can say, your perspective really broadened our thinking because while we feel comfortable being around people that think like us, not everybody thinks like us. And so we can invite other people's perspectives, and that's going to mean that we have better decisions. This last section is called meaning and belonging, meaning that you matter to the story. So what you can do is you can acknowledge how someone makes your team better. You really helped us see things more clearly. Your perspective was invaluable here. They realize they influence you, and you're someone they look up to. So that's going to make them feel valued. Reflect their contribution to the team's identity. You bring calm to this group when we need it most, and that makes a big difference. Then they see their presence as shaping the team. Also, notice psychological safety moments. You can say, thanks for speaking up. That took a lot of courage. Their honesty, you're saying that their honesty isn't risky, it's welcome. But for them, maybe they took a risk in being honest, and you're saying that you value the risk that they took. And lastly, find a way of saying you matter here. It affirms the deep human need to belong. You know, people don't remember statistics, they don't remember strategies or outlines, but they remember how they feel in your presence. And soft skills are the way that you make those feelings intentional. You don't need a budget to make someone feel valued. You just need the willingness to share what's good right in front of you. Notice people, notice the difference that they make. It can influence the emotional climate of everyone. And if everyone feels more valued, everyone's going to contribute more. And think of how that's going to impact the entire Culture that you're a part of. When people feel valued, they stop holding back and they believe in themselves. Imagine the times when you've believed in yourself. It just gives you an energy, maybe that you didn't expect, but it just gives you somewhere and someplace better to go. That's the real power of soft skills. And that's the power that you can take with you into every room you enter. Making someone feel valued doesn't cost anything, but it's worth its weight in gold. Well, that's all we have for today. Thank you for joining us on this episode of Soft Skills Strong Results. I'm Charlie Krebs, and remember, soft skills are the human side of success. Thank you for listening today. Be sure to check out other episodes in the catalog and join me at CharlieKrebs.com to find out how I can help you strengthen your interpersonal communication skills. You can find the link in the show notes.